How To Make Donkey Chowder

Donkey Chowder

An ancient remedy for today’s bellyfeel bellyaches.

Courtesy of Your Local Hell’s Grannies


  • 46 cups of Holy Mackerels
  • 1.643 pounds of chopped monkey-eating eagle
  • 2 teaspoons of baby panda tears
  • a stein of Grandpa’s Old Medicine
  • 1 gallon of wacky deli meats
  • A pinch of unreasonable expectations


  1. Shake and bake the Holy Mackerels under cold water and place them in a(n)majestic bowl.
  2. Delicately add the chopped monkey-eating eagle, baby panda tears, Grandpa’s old medicine, and wacky deli meats.
  3. Soak well until all the ingredients are questionable in both texture and edibility.
  4. Place spoonfuls of the mixture on a 9” x 12” baby pool.
  5. Bake for 4 score minutes at lukewarm degrees, or until you stop questioning its nutritional value.

Serves 11

Please sir, have some more.


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